Comments on: Ask Sarge: Getting Orders http://outservemag.org/2011/09/asksarge/ a publication of OutServe-SLDN Sat, 24 May 2014 08:49:10 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.6 By: Bryce http://outservemag.org/2011/09/asksarge/#comment-502 Bryce Fri, 14 Oct 2011 09:51:09 +0000 http://outservemag.org/?p=375#comment-502 Love and maintaining a long-term relationship can be challenging no matter the situation, but there are greater stressors for those serving in the military. That being said, you want to nurture and protect your relationship to the best of your ability and the same for your girlfriend. Your level of commitment is evident in that you plan on marrying. My main concern, based on your concerns regarding having a “non-closeted” relationship will bother some just as they do now knowing your same-gender attraction orientation. So I would wonder if your relationship is strong enough to withstand the stress and strains that may result from living openly as a couple in the current military environment you describe in your letter?

It is important that you both are considering the possible challenges that may come up. One suggestion would be to have your girlfriend stay with you for extended visits – say a week to 10 days at a time, and see how it goes. If all goes well over a period of say 3 to 6 months, perhaps her making a major move to live with you will be workable after testing your environment as a couple. Seeking “off-base” or online couples’ counseling during this time could be very beneficial during this transition! However the two of you work it out, I wish you both much happiness in your future plans as a couple.

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