The season we are all about is Fall 2013 Ready-to-Wear and there was a since of darkness as black was the go to color of the season mixed with bold colors, structured paneling, leather, fur, plaid and vintage inspired silhouette’s. Dark palettes for the garments were definitely the main trends of the majority of the collections.

• Chaplains are advised to consult with their endorsers and commanders for issues in which they may find themselves unable to provide care for LGBT couples, based on those chaplains’ religious principles.
• Chaplains who are unable to provide marriage seminar/counseling to LGBT couples are to refer those couples to other chaplains/installations or comparable civilian care.
• Chaplains who welcome LGBT couples into marriage seminars/counseling are to notify their other couples/members of the participation of those LGBT couples.
• Chaplains are required to notify their command if they choose to perform same-gender weddings, and remain at the discretion of their endorsing body in choosing whether or not to perform those weddings.
• Chaplains remain at the discretion of their endorsing bodies in choosing whether or not to allow an LGBT service member to volunteer during services (choir, teaching, other leadership capacities).

The chaplain’s memo seems to begin and end with a commitment to honoring LGBT service members and their families, stating, “We remain committed to consistently providing religious and spiritual care to all,” yet some of the guidance issued seems to alienate some LGBT couples based on the sole discretion of various endorsing agencies. Why should chaplains who openly welcome LGBT families notify their straight members ahead of time of LGBT participation? And why should chaplains be required to notify their command of the performance of LGBT weddings? I applaud the Air Force’s initiative in providing more specific guidance to chaplains, but did they take it a step too far in outlining provisions that seem to discriminate against our LGBT service members?

Read the memo here.

Military families need to know this is only one step in the process. Applying for housing allowances, medical care, updating IRS tax withholding, military personnel files, and other benefits have separate enrollment procedures. Most commands have developed checklists to assist newly married service members with this process.

Over the next several days, military personnel, finance, medical, housing, and other offices are going to begin dealing with LGBT families for the first time. There will be unanticipated complications and the Military Services are prepared to assist in resolving issues. If service members encounter barriers and can’t resolve them through the military chain-of-command, contact our legal team at 1-800-538-7418×100 or 202-328-3244×100 or by email at legal@outserve-sldn.org.

“OutServe-SLDN is pleased to see these steps by the military services. Service members and their families have long been denied fair and equal treatment. Tuesday begins our steps forward on benefits that will begin to resolve this inequality. We look forward to the day when such barriers are eliminated,” stated April Heinze, OutServe-SLDN board chair.

OutServe-SLDN board member and Hospital Corpsman Second Class Jeffry Priela-Tam, currently at Camp Lejuene, NC, says this day has been a long time coming for him and husband, Chris. “It comes as a great relief because now I don’t have to pay out of pocket to live off base while forced to maintain a barracks room. It’s a huge step towards equality. I can’t wait for the day when all states that do not currently recognize our marriage will come to their senses and fall on the right side of humanity.”

Significant barriers to service remain. These include transgender service, access to military equal opportunity programs, updating Status of Forces Agreements to allow family members to accompany service members on overseas assignments, ensuring access to veteran benefits, updating the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ), and ensuring a positive and supportive command climate to strengthen our military culture of inclusion. OutServe-SLDN continues working to empower, support, and defend LGBT service members, veterans, and families.

The Levi’s company was founded in 1853 by Levi Strauss, the creator of working dungarees. With 470 company-operated stores and over 16,200 employees, Levi’s leads the market and sets the trends for denim. While the style of denim comes and goes with the times, acid washed, stone washed, loose fit, skinnies, and more, jeans and denim are timeless. We find ourselves tangled up in blue.

What type of denim are you? Let’s explore the different options and what each may say about your personality. Relaxed fit, skinny jeans or boot cut?

Relaxed fit: the perfect pick for your laid back, care free guy or chick, easy going with a lawn chair and a cold beer in hand.

Skinny jeans: trendsetter and sometimes up tight. Could we blame you? You’re not afraid to show off the curves. Hit a coffee shop or trendy boutique with style and confidence.

Boot cut: you’re preppy and most likely a jock or a cowboy. These provide great comfort for sports and activities outdoors like tailgating or roping in your cattle. They give you perfect room when throwing the football at a picnic or attending a neighborhood BBQ.

Trends:

Denim trends have a lot of option and can get overwhelming if you are not a fan of shopping or looking to try new styles. Let’s begin with the basics, the color hues. After we pick our favorite tones, then we can experiment with the hottest trends.

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Sports are largely separated by gender. The same is true for the military. This will slowly change with women being allowed to serve in combat roles. Today, however, if you went to Marine Corps boot camp in San Diego it labels you as male since no women are sent there for training. You cannot talk about boot camp without exposing who you were – your gender assigned at birth – just as discussing your time on submarines or serving in the infantry would out you.

There are many transgender people serving in the military today. We serve in silence. Some of us go to great lengths to hide who we are while in the service. Once out of the service, a lot of us go to great lengths to hide our new gender. After transitioning, we do not want others to know of our past because we want others to accept us for our new gender. But hiding our background creates a whole new set of fears and anxieties.

By gaining the male characteristics that I had always wanted, I lost my history as a woman. It is as if I never existed before my transition. I can no longer share some of my most joyous moments that expose me as having once lived my life as a woman. When someone asks where my daughter’s mother is, I cringe and say it is complicated. I want to tell them that it was me that gave birth to them, but I choose to remain silent. In my silence, I feel guilty that I am doing a disservice to other transgender persons by remaining invisible and passing as male.

I do not voice my transgender status in my local community. It is a personal choice, and I have had to come to terms with it. It is not just me I have to think about; it is my family as well. Being transgender is still stigmatized in society. I know we need to change the hearts and minds of Americans, but the price to pay to make change happen is very steep. Since I am new to this town, I want to gain the community’s respect before I come out. Beyond the city limits, though, I want my voice as a trans man to be heard.

At my daughters’ school Valentine’s Day party, red and pink hearts, balloons and streamers dotted the classroom. My Valentine’s Day sweethearts are my twin daughters. I gave birth to them, yet I can no longer share that joyous moment with other mothers. While watching the kids pass out candy and cards, two mothers were talking about their pregnancy experiences. One spoke of how difficult her daughter was to deliver. The other said she had a pretty easy time. My thoughts raced; I wanted to connect with them, but how could I? I wanted to say having twins was amazing. Feeling both of them wrestle around inside me was such a strange sensation. I wanted to say I had a C-section. That they came early because the doctor accidentally induced early labor. But I didn’t. I couldn’t.

I am Dad now. And nobody knows that I used to be their mother.

So instead, I said, “We had twins.” That was all I said and all I could say. From there, one mom said her sister had twins and that she used to breast feed them both at the same time. The other cut in and said she just doesn’t know how those mothers do it, and that she has the utmost respect for women who have twins. I wanted to be a part of that magic.
A trans woman veteran named Paula told me,

Those of us who are no longer serving in uniform have an obligation to tell our histories truthfully if we ever hope to change the regulations for those who are in uniform and can’t tell their truths. The public needs to know our stories and putting faces and real people on the issue of ‘transgender service’ will be vital to winning just as it was in repealing ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.’

However, outing yourself is complicated at best.

A friend of mine, an active duty trans man in the Army, tries to embrace his past in hopes that it will help others that are questioning their gender.

I’m trying to embrace myself and my past – both civilian and military. I tell people why I left [the military] and my story, and it outs me. But I want to come to terms with myself in every point of my life, and am hoping that my story helps other people someday…Overall, though, being honest and open seems to be my best bet. I’ve gotten nothing but respect in return…nothing malicious yet.

Explaining one’s past is a personal choice, but the decision nonetheless causes a great deal of anxiety. I am still conflicted about choosing to lose my history as a woman. Hopefully, I will overcome my fears and embrace my past so others can see the true me.

About the Author: Evan Young is originally from Little Rock, Ark. He graduated basic training in 1989, transitioned from a sergeant to lieutenant in 1998, and rose to the rank of Major before retiring in 2013. Evan and his partner currently live in Spring Lake, Michigan with their two children.

Washington, DC – In a 5 to 4 decision, the United States Supreme Court today ruled in the case U.S. v. Windsor that part of the so­called Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which became law in 1996, is unconstitutional because it is a deprivation of the equal protection of the law guaranteed by the Fifth Amendment. Today’s ruling strikes down Section 3 of the law which allowed the federal government to recognize only marriages between a man and a woman.

“Today, we congratulate plaintiff Edie Windsor, her incredible legal team, and all those who have stood up for the freedom to marry in America. This victory is especially sweet for our nation’s lesbian, gay, and bisexual service members, who can now not only serve openly, but can serve knowing that their loving, committed, and legal marriages will be recognized by the military they serve and the nation they protect,” said Army veteran and OutServe­SLDN Executive Director Allyson Robinson.

Currently twelve states and the District of Columbia permit same­gender marriages. Robinson said today’s victory adds to the rapidly growing momentum for marriage in the U.S.

“This victory energizes our work moving forward and lays a new, strong foundation for ensuring marriage for all loving and committed couples in our country across all fifty states,” said Robinson.

Robinson thanked the plaintiffs in OutServe­SLDN’s landmark litigation, McLaughlin v. Panetta, which was filed in October 2011 on behalf of eight married gay and lesbian military couples seeking equal recognition, support, and benefits, for their part in bringing the stories of gay and lesbian military families to the fore. Despite today’s ruling, the McLaughlin case will move forward because the case challenges the constitutionality of other statutes in addition to DOMA.

“We owe a debt of gratitude to the McLaughlin plaintiffs today, including the late Chief Warrant Officer Charlie Morgan and her family, all of whom courageously stepped forward to do something very difficult: to file suit against their employer, the Department of Defense, as well the Department of Veterans Affairs. In doing so, they stood up not only for their own families, but for countless LGBT military families they will never know. Their stories have been, and will continue to be, a game­changer as the marriage fight marches forward,” said Robinson.

Robinson called on the Pentagon to act immediately and unequivocally to implement today’s ruling.“Secretary Hagel has already demonstrated his commitment to LGBT military families, just as he promised he would during his confirmation. Today the Court cleared the way for him to take the next step. We expect Secretary Hagel to act so that all families affected by today’s ruling gain access to full recognition, benefits, and support no later than sixty days from today. OutServe­SLDN will be working with the Pentagon and the VA to ensure that the greatest number of federal protections, responsibilities and programs are available to all military couples as soon as possible,” said Robinson.

ABOUT OUTSERVE­-SLDN: OutServe­-SLDN is the association of actively serving LGBT military personnel with more than fifty chapters and 6500 members around the world. It works to support a professional network of LGBT military personnel and create an environment of respect in the military with regard to sexual orientation and gender identity. It is a non­partisan, non­profit, legal services and policy organization dedicated to bringing about full LGBT equality to America’s military and ending all forms of discrimination and harassment of military personnel on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. OS­-SLDN provides free and direct legal assistance to service members and veterans affected by the repealed “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” law and the prior regulatory ban on open service, as well as those currently serving who may experience harassment or discrimination. For more information, visit www.outserve­sldn.org.

This past Saturday an email containing the contents of confidential internal discussions of the OS-SLDN Board of Directors was erroneously distributed to an email list containing recipients outside of the Board of Directors. The board would like to clarify that the drafted item was only part of a series of discussions aimed at transitioning the organization in what has been a rapidly changing financial and political landscape facing the LGBT movement, which will soon include a Supreme Court decision on the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act. As is the case with many of our partners at this critical time, OS-SLDN is facing real and significant financial obstacles, forcing the Board to look critically at all aspects of its operations and to consider difficult decisions, including cutting costs and staffing reductions.

Board Co-Chair, Josh Seefried, stated, “There is no excuse for the series of events that transpired this past weekend. On behalf of the Board of Directors, I sincerely apologize for this as well as the impact it’s had on our staff’s and members’ trust and confidence in the organization. Allyson Robinson has led OutServe-SLDN as one of the most transformational leaders of this movement, and there is not a member serving on this board who does not respect and admire her work for this organization and the LGBT movement.”

“Allyson has continually put our LGBT service members, veterans, and their families first in the changes the organization has faced since the repeal of DADT,” stated co-chair April Heinze. “As many in our community know, the LGBT movement is evolving quickly, and so will its institutions. Many people thought that after the repeal of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ all the military LGBT organizations would or should disappear. As Allyson Robinson and her staff have so powerfully and effectively reminded the nation, the mission for full equality in our Armed Forces is incomplete.”

Robinson, a 1994 graduate of West Point, has led OutServe-SLDN through some of the movement’s most significant victories since the repeal of DADT, including the public vetting of Chuck Hagel for the office of Secretary of Defense, the highlighting of ongoing discrimination against gay and lesbian military families at Ft. Bragg and elsewhere, and the extension of non-DOMA restricted benefits to same-sex military partners. She has worked tirelessly to put military families at the center of the discussion of the Defense of Marriage Act and has become the nation’s leading advocate for transgender inclusion in the military.

In light of these events, the board and Allyson will be working together toward a successful transition of the organization. Allyson will continue to serve as Executive Director throughout this period.

OS-SLDN operations and planned events, unless explicitly noted, will continue as planned to include the 2013 OutServe-SLDN Leadership Conference which will be held in San Antonio, Texas in October.

The OS-SLDN Board of Directors
OutServe-SLDN is the association of actively serving LGBT military personnel with more than fifty chapters and 6500 members around the world. It works to support a professional network of LGBT military personnel and create an environment of respect in the military with regard to sexual orientation and gender identity. For more information, visit www.outserve-sldn.org.

Very few people ever get the opportunity in this life to hear from those whose lives they’ve touched just how much they are loved and respected. I have no words to express my gratitude for the hundreds who have reached out to me privately or stood up for me publicly over these last 24 hours to show their support: from the military community, the LGBT community, and most especially, most dear to me, the troops of OutServe-SLDN and their families. For that, I am blessed beyond measure.

In light of the momentous events the coming days hold for us all, I intend to put this matter behind us and look forward to shifting the focus back to where it belongs: our LGBT service members, veterans, and families, who sacrifice so much every day, and their ongoing fight for full equality.

— Allyson Robinson, Executive Director, OutServe-SLDN

As I reflect on the past year I spent in Afghanistan, I am so thankful for having both an incredible experience and a partner who supports me. I deployed as part of the Afghanistan/Pakistan Hands (AFPAK Hands) program and worked with Afghans on the implementation of their peace and reintegration program. For me, it was a challenging but rewarding year. For my partner, Kathy, it was a year of uncertainty and worry. We both worked hard to consistently communicate and be there for one other, even though we were thousands of miles apart.

Col. Ginger Wallace, USAF, in Bamyan, Afghanistan, during her year-long deployment.

We’ve been through three deployments together, but this was my first year-long deployment. For Kathy, I imagine it must have seemed like a lot longer. As service members, our lives become very simple. While we’re deployed, we work, eat, go to the gym, and sleep.  But our partners’ lives become much more complicated. They still have to take care of everything at home on their own and continue on with their lives without us around. I’ve tried to envision what it must be like to manage the stress of having a loved one deployed to a combat zone with the stress of also having to manage a household at the same time. For families like ours, that stress is compounded by the fact that the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) denies our partners the benefits and support structure other families enjoy. Our partners have no guarantee they will get officially notified should something happen to us, and we do not have the peace of mind knowing, with certainty, our partners will be taken care of should we not come home. In this post-DADT era, we have certainly made progress in recent years, but we all anxiously await the Supreme Court ruling on DOMA in June. Until DOMA has been overturned, our families will continue to be treated like second-class citizens even though they also sacrifice for our country in support of our service.

While Kathy was managing our household by herself during stressful times, I had some of the most incredible experiences of my career. I worked with talented Afghans and travelled all over Afghanistan. The highlight was a trip to Bamyan, a beautiful region that happens to be Afghanistan’s only province with a female governor. It was an honor to meet Governor Sarobi and get her perspective on Afghanistan’s peace program in her share of the country. The Afghanistan Peace and Reintegration Program (APRP) is about 2.5 years old and now exists in 33 of 34 provinces. The program is designed to expedite the end the conflict between insurgents and the government of Afghanistan through a process of political settlement. My focus was supporting the peaceful reintegration of former insurgents who renounce violence as they come back into their communities. For their acceptance of former insurgents back into the community, those provinces then receive. aid to help with their community development projects. Basically, the more the provinces help transition insurgents back into the community, the more support they receive from the program. Like any program, the APRP has challenges and issues, but Afghans are improving the implementation of the program in most parts of the country. While Bamyan has not historically been a violent province, Governor Sarobi’s approach to peace is impactful and impressive, and she is proof that women are making progress in Afghanistan too.

Col. Wallace helping the Afghan women’s national basketball team.

Another sign women are making progress in Afghanistan is in its sports programs. Not only are more girls attending school, they are also increasing their participation in sports. I also had the pleasure or working with the Afghan women’s national basketball team. Their facilities are very basic, but their enthusiasm for the game matches any team I’ve ever worked with back in the States. These are women that love to play so much that they risk their own security to travel to the Afghan Olympic complex to practice three times a week. Most of them are college aged and attend universities in Kabul. I challenged them to teach their younger sisters, nieces, and cousins how to play the game so that some day Afghan women can compete in international competitions. I’m confident it will happen with time.

As I drove through the streets of Kabul for the last time, I wondered where Afghanistan will be ten years from now. I wonder if there will be a political settlement. I wonder if the country will recover from more than three decades of conflict or if it will have slipped into civil war and become more divided than ever. I look at our own country’s history and I still have hope.  Almost 100 years after the signing of the Declaration of Independence, we too were a country divided. If it wasn’t fighting the bloodiest war our country has ever known, it was struggling through dark days preceding the civil rights movement. Progress takes times.  As I look to our country, I think about families like mine. Today, the country seems to be more united than ever in support of our right to marry the person we love, but the struggle continues, much like it does in Afghanistan. I wonder where we will be ten years from now.